A blog of many random things.
Some posts may be triggering.
I do not condone/advocate self-harm in any way.
showered. I didn’t hit snooze, I didn’t
have to talk myself out of canceling life to
sleep until I no longer existed.
This morning I bought a coffee because
I like the flavor not because I need
the caffeine to make it to lunch without
crashing into overwhelming exhaustion.
This morning I asked a stranger for
directions without panicking or
shaking with fear. I told my anxiety
to take a vacation for a few minutes
and it listened.
This morning I made plans to get coffee
with someone I don’t know well to
talk about life and personal growth.
I didn’t think twice about it or have to
spend the next hour planning what I
would and would not admit to.
This morning I discussed self-harm with a friend
in a casual manner, as if it weren’t something that
at one point controlled so much of my life.
I gave her advice without triggering
myself and moved on to the next topic.
This morning I fixed my budget to plan
for the upcoming semester and it was
actually kind of fun. I didn’t get scared
about my future or wonder if I’d ever
make it to graduation alive like I used to.
This morning I told my boyfriend that
I love him dearly, and when he called me
beautiful and told me he loved me as well, I
accepted the compliment and drove to work
smiling the whole way.
This morning I day dreamed about what
my life will be like in 10 years and the fact
that those thoughts even exist is a miracle
to the 19 year old girl who tried to die a few
years ago and now wants nothing but to